Before You Get Married by Anayo Anslem

Before You Get Married

By; Anayo Anslem

Have you wondered why a spouse tends to complain about their better half after marriage? Is marriage not something to be enjoyed? Don't get me wrong; no one is expecting a bed of roses. But with the rate at which divorce cases is on the rise, one needs to wonder what fate holds for those aiming to ply the road in no distance time.

According to the Sun, Investigations at the Federal High Court in Abuja has seen over 2000 divorce cases filed between 2019 to February 2020, with an average of 30 cases entertained per day.

The figures might not be spot on, but one thing is for sure, the divorce rate in Nigeria is getting to the point of abnormality.

What then could be the reasons for the dissolution of families? Sit back and dip into, you just might get the answers to your question.

Its an open secret that some individuals tend to hide their flaws while dating rather than working on them, only to open can of worms when they are married. This leaves the other half wondering what has become of their partner. My dear, you still got married to the same person you just had been tricked.

A man who on a normal goes out, drinks to his satisfaction, gets drunk, misbehave and is fine with it now sees a lady he likes knowing such actions wouldn't do his chances any good covers his weakness around her now gets married bringing this attitude in full force. He begins to get home late home from the pub, vomits and messes himself up like he does when he was a bachelor. The wife not ready to curtile his excesses, shouts and insult him. In response, he begins to hit her, raising up the ugly head of domestic violence.

Patience my friends is a big virtual, majority of marriages now lack this, The finances might not be rolling in as before, difficulties would arise, No one gets prepared for days like this but the ability to see beyond the storm is lacking in many marriages.One party begins to nag rather than working as the team that they are to remedy the situation.

O mother-in-laws and their overbearing influences, can it ever be overemphasized? If you aren't in the good books of your husbands mother, you just might be in a long marriage of misery, nothing what so ever you do tends to please her, you suddenly don't know how to cook anymore, you don't know what is best for her son and grand children, you don't know how to manage the home again, how frustrating can it get? They begin to influence their Sons decision in the home and if your husband is the type that listens and does whatever the mother wants with the notation that "She is my mum, she wants the best for me" you just might be in a fight you never would win and it becomes only a matter of time before you leave for the exit.

The crown of Infidelity must be the highest destroyer of marriages.Sadly enough, we leave in a world or time where its a no big deal for a man to cheat, but that can't be said of the  female folks. Even your mothers who should be your greatest supporter would tell your to endure and forgive him praying and hoping he would change if he is the chronic one. Giving you stories how they coped with it during their marriages. Should it be soo? The guy could be caught pants down, yes their would be some days of fights and quarrels after all but thereafter which in most cases the sleeping dog would be left to lie. Some men end up not satisfying their spouse as most energy just might have been channeled outside. If tables where turned and reverse where to be the case you both might be heading to the court for a divorce. You call it the irony of life we living in.

Last but not the least, problems of forced unions can't be thrown out of the window.If some had the chance for a remarrige, many wouldn't get married to the same spouse again. You just might wonder why but it is what it is, many have been forced into such marriages they never envisaged.

Call it fear of getting old, Pressure from the parents (who might be wanting grand children) they get into it hoping for fulfilment and  love in the long run but it just never clicks, If only wishes were horses.

Many might have ended, Many more might be on the verge, If you look critically into such unions, the reasons aren't far fetched anymore as there is a limit to human perseverance.